As my mother goes to work

My mother does not work. When I say that she does not work, I mean that she does not go out to an office, where she stays from morning till evening, and return home tired and annoyed like my neighbour’s mother. But she does work. She does a lot of the housework. Yet, she does not ‘work’ in the eyes of society, because work is where you venture out of home.

However, I do not wish to dwell on the stress that working women have to deal with compared to the ones that do not. But I do wish to wonder (out loud, out in paper) what my reactions would be if my mother suddenly started ‘working’.

I would miss her immensely. I would miss the way she fussed over me. I would miss the food she tries to make different every day. And like my neighbour, I would have to start complaining that she feeds me the same thing every day or that she is cranky and screams when she comes back.

I know what you are feeling. This generation must be the most, selfish, self-obsessed beings in the world.  But hey, when both parents set out to meet both ends meet, we have difficulty meeting them, spending quality time with them.

Ten or twenty years ago, working women in Kerala were a rarity. A small percentage of women finished college and went on to pursue a career with the degrees that they had with them. One reason was the man was accepted socially, and politically as fit for being the breadwinner. Otherwise, the religion did not encourage the woman to work; she was to be protected by her family. But alas, need of the household and uplifting of women made many break the tentacles of taboo and set out with as much dignity and authority as their male counterparts. Women found their niche in the world once ruled my man. Yes, girls were beginning to rule. Tone check: feminist not yet.

The latest trends that I observe is the drive to acquire a job, a drive to be independent, a drive to put the education received to educate, techniques received to make technology and be financially secure. More than need, it is now the want to be as successful that keeps two individuals focused. How well these work with our family environment back home where the people from the country would like that they fished and farmed to provide, where kids  like to be fussed over a lot, or where husbands like their partners to greet them every evening with a cup of coffee, remains to be something to be researched and reflected.

That the ‘housework’ is not work is a general notion inserted into a slot into our brains, remains to be one of the singular reasons why the household chores remains to be unshared among the family, why moms are missed when they go to work. That support comes through words and less through actions makes the work-life balance impossible for the mothers who wish and fish to make their destinies.  Maybe these are reasons why when a teenager is asked why he or she does not run the wash for a change, they almost out of reflex and habit say that “My mom is supposed to do it”. Supposed to. She should, shouldn’t she? Maybe reasons why I do not want my mother to work. Who would look after the wash?

One Response to As my mother goes to work

  1. joseph varghese says:

    Aiswarya kutty,
    Wonderful-really..keep it up the spirit.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Powered by adlabs